As I was listening to a sermon about men and women relationships , the preacher mentioned the verse in Solomon 8:4 "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right." and a light bulb went off in my head i realized that many single young men and young women awaken love before it's time. There are sooo many sermons about "how to choose a spouse", "what you should look for in a spouse", "what your spouse should do or look like"... going on all over the internet . Sometimes it's so overwhelming.
When I was 18 I moved from my hometown to where I live now , I was fresh out of high school, and I didn't know much about adulthood, christianity, or being a Godly woman. So I joined a local church, the same church my sister served in. It was a church full of single men and women I mean literally . 75 % of the people were single including the pastor. So as you can imagine it was all about marriage, who to marry , how, when, where. It was everywhere. But for me that was at the bottom of my priorities I was so young and what was on my mind was college, making new friends, grow in the Lord. As it should be at that age anyway. Since the majority of the young men wanted to find a wife and half of the ladies to marry the pastor(I exaggerate a little but, am sure if he popped the question many wouldn't have said no), I had no choice but to think about it .(I don't intend to blame anybody , it's just the truth) Then I started to watch videos about it, reading books, going to conferences, which at some point is a good thing because learning is a good thing. But the more I listened to that kind of sermon, the more I was confused, it was too much information for my little self.
I decided one day to stop, focus on God, serve him, and let him bring to me, the one he designed for me when it's time.
What my 18 years old self went through is similar to other young women today, I decided to write about it after a conversation with my 20 years old little sister, who was telling me that she was in a group on social media with some friend of hers about the same age and older and she felt like marriage was the main focus in their conversations. she felt overwhelmed and wanted to quit the group.
My question to you ladies (or gentleman if you read this) do you really want to get married? or do you like the idea of being married? Do you really want to get married or do you feel like you should be married because everybody wants to? Do you really want to get married or you feel like in order to be complete you should be married? What is exactly the reason why you want to get married?
Marriage is a beautiful thing, I'm married , I love my Husband and I wouldn't trade my life with him for anything. But marriage shouldn't be your main focus as single christian women , men didn't die on the cross for us, Jesus did. Men will not show us our purpose on this earth, Jesus will. Men will not fill the gap, or the loneliness we feel, Jesus will.
We must always keep our eyes on the Lord Jesus and let him guide us through our destiny. Matthew6:33-"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Being single is a great season, you have plenty of time to spend with Jesus, friends and family, travelling,.. you ain't got no diapers to change, no babysitter to look for when you need a night out,.. as an example, it's been almost 3 years that i have not been able to fast because I was pregnant then, I was breastfeeding, 9month later pregnant again and now breastfeeding again..lol(I enjoy this season too don't get me wrong). but before the ring and the babies i would do days and weeks of fasting and praying .
So my advice for you single ladies don't rush into marriage, take your time, enjoy your season, focus on God, let him fill you with all the good stuff he has in store for you, serve him with all your heart, be happy, make friends, travel, get them degrees, Let The Lord guide you into your destiny, along the way you will meet your husband .
Oh, and for my sister, I advised her to quit the group if she doesn't feel good about it.
